paintitrainbows | what comes up when rain comes down?

[yes, he would only know of the one time, which is why he starts to frown and address that---but yes alright back on topic]

Well...I wanted to help with your recovery during withdrawal, but you were insistent that I shouldn't, and I couldn't understand why. And you said something along the lines of--[he frowns, trying to remember exactly how the conversation went, but he does't have Edward's perfect recall]--that you couldn't figure out my angle. And I explained that I didn't have an angle; that I was doing this because you're my friend, and I-I love you. [and there it is again, and he almost stumbles over it--but he's on a roll now so here we go] And you told me that was something you'd never experienced, and that my loving you was a mistake, because you were broken. [his brow furrows a bit, only because saying that is enough to make something ache in his chest all over again] To which I pointed out that I don't really think that there's anyone in Gotham that isn't broken, at least a little bit, in different ways. Because I certainly am. But even so, knowing all of that and all of those things...I still love you. [this time, no stumble--more steady.]

And you said the idea of that scared you. Love. Because you don't have any experience with it, from either side. Which is--I said that was fine, and if you needed clarification, ever, that I was happy to help you figure it out.

[....] And then you fell asleep.

[He takes that in. The whole thing. And it's... well, it's a little embarrassing, honestly. Because even if they aren't things he's consciously aware of, when he hears Oswald describe what he'd said, he knows it's true. And they sure aren't things he would've talked about, otherwise.

Of course he doesn't remember a single second of it. Not one bit.

Oswald had told Edward that he loved him and he just forgot about it. That seems so... ridiculous. Of all things. There are so many things he effortlessly remembers, but just because of the timing of it all, he can't remember something like this?]

...Oh.

[And he's quiet, because he genuinely doesn't know what to say to that.

He needs a second to digest that and to think.]

[...it feels a bit anticlimactic, almost. All those nerves for one little word. And, obviously, Edward's got that look of his when he's thinking very hard about something. And though it's incredibly tempting to press for answers, to push, it's better that...he doesn't. He's learned at least that.

But he does need to busy himself with something otherwise he's going to freak out himself alskdhflskdhfs]

I'm going to heat up the leftover thai from the other night while you're thinking. Did you want any? [yep gonna push to his feet because he's going to distract himself with something else for a bit because he might scream at all the negative scenarios and things his brain keeps bringing up in the wake of that and he's just not about dealing with the thoughts of Edward deciding he doesn't love him because he kept all that from him SO YEP]

[Edward is still quiet, thinking to himself. Going over what Oswald just told him, yes, but not just that. Going over the events that happened today. Trying to see if he can remember anything, even just a sliver of that conversation, but all he has to go in is when he woke up afterwards.

Think of it like a puzzle, Oswald had said, and that's what he's doing now. In this case, the puzzle is Oswald. It's Edward. It's the both of them, in some sort of strange, three-dimensional, over-complicated conundrum. Pieces he needs hazy, vanishing randomly, or long since buried on purpose. But if he could only solve simple puzzles, well.

He'd be a sorry excuse for a Riddler, wouldn't he?

Edward doesn't seem to entirely hear Oswald's question. He does, sort of. He recognizes that there is a sound, but the words don't register under the far more distracting weight of his own thoughts. And Oswald might need to wait a moment, before getting an answer. He's already moving, standing up. It's not actually until Oswald's taken a few steps before there's an answer.]

[...Just not to the question he just asked.]

I love you.

[What do you do, when you figure out the answer to a difficult riddle? Why...

You announce it.]

[He's honestly on his way to being lost in his thoughts due to actively suppressing his own panicked responses but--

that

Is more than enough to cut right through all of it.

Enough to stop him in his tracks, even, breath stuttering in his throat, a blossoming of shock and hope and something else in his chest]

[He half-turns back towards Edward, then, just...looking at him. The first time he said it, it was an accident, blurted without thought. This time, however...it's deliberate. Very much so.

...and even yet, even as hope bubbles up, elation, joy, he can't help but ask--]

...really?

[It took a lot of effort for Edward to get here and the second Oswald asks that, the panic is back, and all he wants is to immediately take it back. Pretend this conversation never happened, walk out the door, maybe fake his death - it could work, maybe! - but...

He swallows and tries to steel himself. No backing down. He already said the words, so it's too late now. It's scary. But...

Not because he didn't mean it.]

Yes.

[There's the hard part out of the way.]

I mean, I... As I said, my experience in this area is lacking, to put it extremely lightly, and it's new to me, I always sort of thought love wasn't really real or at the very least I wasn't capable of it, but given new evidence and the fact that I don't know what else this could possibly be, I have to think that--

[He's rambling.

...He might not know how to stop.

You should probably say something and snap him out of it, Ozzy.]

[Really, Edward, all he needed was the "yes."]

Edward.

[to get his attention, mostly. He'll wait until he's stopped babbling]

[Immediately, Edward's mouth snaps shut.]

[and that's when the smile starts, spreading across his face in a way he can't stop, because he's just--he's really incredibly happy]

I love you, too.

[Oswald had already said as much, multiple times. But every time he hears it it still feels unreal. And he's...

Yep, Edward's blushing.]

Oh. I... Right. Yes. Good.

[He's usually good at talking but it's REALLY HARD NOW?]

[Edward is just

so cute???

help

Also Oswald will return those couple steps he's taken, holding out a hand, obviously expecting him to take it.]

[Yeah, he's just going to follow Oswald's lead here for a bit, taking his hand.]

[he'll tug Edward to his feet, then] Come here. [and then he'll just...gently pull him into a hug.]

[That... oh.

...That is very nice. And for once, Edward seems to actually... relax a little in the hug.]

[Oswald is just going to wrap his arms around Edward's waist and bury his nose against his shoulder and hide his big, dopey smile there and he'll just...enjoy this. Enjoy knowing that--that he loves Edward. And, by some miracle or grace or randomness of the universe--who knows--Edward loves him.

Edward loves him]

Edited 2019-03-11 22:14 (UTC)

[It's extremely nice and that's almost too much. It isn't where he expected this day to end up. Or any day. His heart is beating very quickly and he feels warm and it's so much.

So, of course, his mouth just starts moving, because that's how he copes.]

...For the record, I understand completely, since I am extremely lovable.

[Edward your self loathing ass is so full of it, don't ruin the moment.]

[...okay yep there it is--and Oswald can't help but sputter out a laugh, leaning back just a touch so he can look up at him]

Duly noted, for the record. [you nerd.] How could I resist, clearly.

[He's red in the face again, now that Oswald's looking at him, but thankfully he has a lot of practice talking himself up.]

Obviously you can't. Really, it was inevitable.

Completely inevitable. I just had to wait for you to catch up and realize it. [The corner of his mouth curls upwards, starting as a smirk, but morphing into a pleased smile]

Also, for the record, you're very cute when you blush like that.

[:>]

I--

[Edward sputters and, having no idea how to respond to that - because really, Oswald? - just ends up putting his head on Oswald's shoulder. The one way he could see to hide his face.]

Shut up.

[he can't help but laugh in response, lifting a hand to rest on the back of Edward's neck]

I'm simply stating the truth, Edward. [it's that tone of voice that says he knows exactly what he's doing and he's delighted to have the upper hand]

You're terrible.

I'm incredibly clever, is what I am. [:>] You said so yourself. Also, I knifed Robin.

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