paintitrainbows | call me out

YOU'VE GOT THAT WRONG!!!

[ Naegi-kun, so dramatic.

He's pretty sure everyone's eyes are on him, because... that's not something you'd normally object to, right? So why... ]

... the brooch you're wearing.

[ . . . wait, what?

Naegi pushes on, as he gestures to the brooch that Togami's wearing - it's a small, golden brooch in the shape of a scarab, tied around his neck. And it's one that Naegi-kun knows very well. ]

If we really mean that little to you... then why are you still wearing it?

You know very well what I'm asking... I gave that to you. As a gift, for... your help during the second trial. If you're really as full of despair as you say, then... why do you still have it on you?

Ah--!

T-That's...

[And gone is that composure. The entire room falls dead silent for a moment, aside from some sputtering from Togami. Until...]

I knew it.

[Of course she did.]

Whoa... So Naegi-kun is the one that gave him that weird looking brooch? I didn't even notice it at all.

[G-Geez... is it finally time for the peanut gallery to comment?]

T-To give a gift like that to Byakuya-sama... Just how many flags did he trigger?!

Ah, is that really what you're concerned about right now?

[And then, there's a slamming sound. Ah, sounds like Togami just slammed his podium.]

[...It manages to shut up Fukawa, at the very least. Mastermind or not, she's still listening to him for now.

...Togami isn't saying anything. He just looks straight at the floor. Is he trying to think of a counter-argument? If so, it doesn't seem to be going very well.]

Edited (whoops spelling) 2015-02-23 21:51 (UTC)

[ Uh...

. . . suddenly Naegi feels like he's put himself and Togami on the spot immediately after revealing that little fact, because, uh. Wow, that reaction was... something...

Between looking at Togami, his classmates and Kirigiri, he can't help but sweat a little before turning to Kirigiri with a frown on his face, mouthing out his words just in case. ]

... did I break him or something?

...You may have just a little.

[Ah- Kirigiri, being blunt as always. Oh well. Togami's... busy having a small meltdown over there. Give him a moment...?

Well, Kirigiri is just going to keep talking to Naegi, because fuck the police.]

Naegi-kun... You won't let any of us fall to despair, right?

[...That's an odd change in topic.]

This entire time, you've been doing your best. Refusing to give up hope, even in the face of the darkest despair. So...

Someone with a title like Super High School Level Despair... Someone who already has fallen to despair... What will you do with someone like that, I wonder. Can someone like that even be saved in the first place?

I think... You might be able to.

Kirigiri-san...

[ That fact that she puts that much faith in him...

Naegi won't lie, it both empowers and scares him. On the one hand, he's certainly stubborn enough to not give in to Togami's illusions of despair grandeur where he's concerned, but on the other... he still feels like that it might not be enough. What happens if he can't pull Togami back from the abyss? Worse, what if he or Kirigiri or... everyone else, for that matter, gets dragged down with him?

He refused to give up hope. That's just how he was. But to convey that to someone who's already lost everything and more...

Naegi opens his mouth to say that he's not sure if he can do it, that Kirigiri's putting a little too much faith in him, that he can't promise anything - but the whisper that leaves his mouth says something else entirely. ]

... I'll try. No... I have to get through to him.

It's the only way we'll be able to save him from himself... right, Kirigiri-san...? I... I refuse to believe he's as empty as he says he is...!

...

Well, that was an interesting diversion.

[Ah... he's recovered? And acting like nothing even happened at all. Or... is he? Geez, it's hard to keep up with this guy...]

But I must say... I didn't expect you to notice a little thing like that. I wonder how empty someone's life must be that they considering something like that insignificant present so important?

[...]

...Yes. I kept it. Because... keeping it or not keeping it... doesn't really matter.

[Togami, you were just freaking out about it, you can't say it doesn't m-]

But the fact that you're bringing up something like that now... is really annoying.

[...Is he trying to act like that's the reason for his response?]

. . .

[ Wow, Togami, maybe he should have just kept it to himself like the selfish twit you want him to be, huh.

No, but... what is with the reaction? Naegi frowns quietly, more to himself, as he tries to figure out just what Togami's thinking... his words definitely aren't matching up with his actions, are they?

He seems like he's acting like nothing happened, that his breakdown was a thing, but Naegi feels more like he's hiding a lot more of a reaction than he's letting on. Huh. Well, might as well play along and see why, if that's the case. ]

How is it annoying? I honestly want to know why you'd think that...

Why? Because it's irrelevant.

[Ah, there it is. He's mad that Naegi is even pursuing this in the first place.]

The fact that I'm the mastermind behind this killing game and Super High School Level Despair has already been established. What meaning is there in arguing if I felt anything or not? You're just sidetracking this entire discussion.

...You're going off-script.

... I'm sorry, I wasn't aware there even was a script at all...

[ Can you feel the sarcasm in his tone, Togami. Can you feel it.

That said, Naegi doesn't seem fazed - if anything, he looks even more determined especially since Togami's doing the exact same thing by diverting their discussion on his own feelings. ]

You're doing the same thing, you know... those so-called insignificant feelings of yours?

They mean everything. We already know you're the mastermind and Super High School Level Despair - no one's disputing that.

What I'm disputing is whether or not you're really as empty as you say...

[ A pause as he glares down Togami. ]

Or are you just stalling this discussion because you already know what your answer's going to be?

Despair is emptiness. By disputing that, you dispute my status as Super High School Level Despair. And I will not have you disrespect my title so casually!

[His tone is ice cold, but Togami's been all over the place this entire trial. Well, what do you expect from someone as messed up as him? But more than that... It's like he's switching between several different versions of himself.]

You... Shouldn't your first priority be... solving the remaining mysteries in your path... Saving yourself and your friends... Escape?

And instead you only focus on me.

[...]

Why?

[ Togami, what are you even doing. Are you just, like, six different people at once, Naegi is wondering as he watches him switch between moods.

. . . that briefly makes him wonder if Togami really had a true self. There was the self who supported him, the self who was the mastermind, the self who was despair... but did he really have a true self in there somewhere? The more he thought about it, the more he had to wonder just how shattered Togami was.

To not even have an actual "self" in there... that's no way to go through life, is it? Regardless of the circumstances.

Either way, when Togami speaks up again, Naegi's expression sets into grim lines of determination as he looks at him seriously; he doesn't even have to stop and think about his words before he speaks up. ]

Because you're still my friend, Togami, even if you're also Super High School Level Despair.

Don't get me wrong! Solving the mysteries of this school... saving everyone... they've always been my priority, ever since going into this trial.

But you're still a part of that, too. My friend... and when I say I'm going to save everyone, that includes you, too. That's not going to change.

Even if I have to save you from yourself... I'm not leaving you behind, Togami-kun!

...I can't believe you. Are you really taking a big risk like this for... for what? For the Byakuya Togami that never even existed in the first place? It was just a mask I put on, nothing more.

You shouldn't even waste your energy. Well, I don't think you should waste your energy on anything at all, but especially not this.

...Will you honestly try "saving" someone who doesn't want to be saved?

. . . come on, Togami-kun. You already know the answer to that, don't you?

[ Naegi just gives him a look that belies both determination and slightly amused exasperation at Togami, the latter expression being something that Togami should be used to considering that he gave him that same look several times.

Especially when Naegi would often deduce how the culprit committed the murder by putting things together on the fly.

Yes, he's quite serious about this. ]

I intend to save everyone, Togami-kun. Including you... no, especially you!

So you'll go against my will no matter what? I see...

I can't say I expected this. You really are determined to win, no matter what. And to think... you're the first to actually make it this far. Hah, but... there's no way I can lose.

...It's completely impossible for me to lose.

[He doesn't sound particularly arrogant, despite his words. It's more like... apathy?]

I've never lost anything so far in my life. This won't be any different.

. . . really? Not even once?

[ Well, that's kind of surprising - Naegi has to wonder about that. Everyone's screwed up at least once in their life, haven't they?

Then again, Togami could be lying... or he might not, such was the power and influence of the Super High School Level Heir. It could go either way at this point. Either way, he doesn't seem to really sound particularly happy that he hasn't lost at all.

One would think that this would be a point of pride for him, but... it didn't sound that way, did it? ]

... you don't sound all that happy about it, though.

...It's just a fact of life. Plain and simple.

[Even so, he should be talking in that same prideful tone he usually does, right? If anything, constant success is the best reason to do so.]

Question. I've talked about this with you before. Do you remember why I stopped involving myself in the stock market?

I think I remember. You mentioned that you stopped because you found it too easy, right?

[ At least, he's hoping that his memory hasn't failed him yet. :|; ]

That's right. It was almost insultingly simple.

But that's not the only time I felt like that. It's been a defining trend in my entire life, actually.

[He adjusts his glasses and once again, it's really clear just how dead his eyes are. Well, it's probably the only consistent thing about him so far.

Maybe that's the real Togami?]

I told you about how the Togami family selects its heir. A dangerous game, even more dangerous than this one, between all the family head's children.

My victory marked the first time the youngest child had ever won.

[...]

You would think... something like that would make me feel satisfied, right? But honestly...

It was boring. Winning didn't make me feel anything at all.

[ The sudden shift in his attitude is rather telling - Naegi can't help but look at Togami with a bit of worry in his expression as he stares into those dead eyes.

Was that... how he'd thought of himself? His true self, as it were? As dead as his eyes were, there was still something genuine about them that gave him pause. So it had to be right, even if he was greatly disturbed the longer he stared into his blank expression.

He almost misses the moment when Togami finally stops talking, but it doesn't seem to be too much of a problem for Naegi as he makes the connection. ]

I see... and the more it happened, the more winning lost its meaning. Regardless of what you did, it felt... empty.

And it led you to look for something, anything, to fill that void, didn't it...?

What should have been my greatest victory was instead completely meaningless to me. And how, exactly, was I supposed to do better than attain a position like that?

It was simultaneously my highest and my lowest point. The feeling I got afterwards... When I realized how meaningless it was...

Yes, I'm certain of it. It was the textbook definition of despair.

[Well, despair... sounds about right. It almost seems to radiate off him.]

...And there was something... wonderful about it.

Well, not that I expect someone like you to understand that.

. . . no. I don't understand it. And... to be honest, I don't think I ever will, nor would I want to.

[ Naegi's tone comes off more hard-edged than he was anticipating at that declaration, but he can't help but smile sadly as he stares down Togami again, gripping his podium tightly as he spoke once more. ]

I think I... understand one thing, though. I don't think... that's the despair you're looking for now, is it?

What you want... is someone to prove to you that you are, in fact, fallible, and that you can lose. Right?

...

If that's what you want, then... I'll play. I don't know if I'm ready for it, but... I'll do what I can. That's... what you want, isn't it...?

...I wonder.

[Maybe that is it. The reason why he keeps putting himself into situations where winning isn't (or at least shouldn't be) guaranteed. Maybe, somewhere inside him, there's a part of him that wants to be proven wrong. That wants to lose.

...If that part exists, calling it hope wouldn't be so unreasonable.]

Hah... You really think you stand a chance? You?

I've gone up against the world's elite and I won.

Hell, I've gone up against the world and I won! Every time, the result has been the same.

And you think someone who got into this academy through dumb luck can defeat me?

... that's the thing. Even I don't know how this is going to end.

[ Naegi can't help but give Togami a lopsided smile, even shrugging quietly as his expression settles into a serious stare once more before he starts explaining. ]

That's why they call it luck in the first place, right? No one can predict how it can go. Not you... not me... not anyone.

But even without the luck... I may not stand a chance, but that's not going to stop me. No... in fact, I have to defeat you.

[ Because it's the only way he'll be able to get through to you, Naegi realizes. ]

...Remarkable.

You may be the most tenacious opponent I've had in quite a while.

[But it does make things more interesting. And interesting is always good.]

It won't do you any good, but it's an admirable enough trait. Determination can only get you so far, but... I'm curious just how far that will be, in your case.

So then... What is your strategy, I wonder?

My strategy... is to figure out the strategy based on what you have for us.

[ NAEGI...

. . . well, at least he's honest enough to admit that he doesn't have one just yet? ]

Don't think that doesn't mean I'm not ready for you, though! I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

[ Whether he wants to be or not. ]

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argentocracy - 2015-03-12 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

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bulletofhope - 2015-03-12 08:28 (UTC) - Expand

call me out - v3.0

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