what comes up when rain comes down?

[enigmaster]

Inter-Dimensional Pen Pals Omakes

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[enigmaster]

[Edward does go sit down. And then he goes through a few things. He considers just leaving, but that's out for so many goddamn reasons, Edward, what the fuck. He spends a few more moments screaming internally. He takes out his phone, pulling up one of his contacts (Harley), but then closes it. Sets his phone down. Picks it back up. Sets it back down. Considers exit strategies again. Thinks back to the feeling of Oswald saying he loves him. Tries to focus on the positive parts of that and not the horrible terror that accompanied it.

He's having.

A time.]

[agoodname]

[Oswald will return with two glasses of water, holding one out to Edward]

...deep breaths, Edward. [he shouldn't be as mildly amused as he does, moving to sit down next to him]

[enigmaster]

I'm fine! [The speed at which Edward replies says otherwise and he just... quietly accepts the glass.]

[agoodname]

.....[Oswald is just going to...stare at him a moment, eyebrows arched like....Edward. Edward, you're pretty transparent.]

[enigmaster]

...

[He has absolutely. No defense for that. Which is why Edward just takes a long drink from that water, because that's the one thing he has defending him right now.

He should say something, he realizes, but what on earth, even?]

[agoodname]

[Oswald settles in on the couch, pulling off his shoes, leaning back to put his bad ankle up on his knee, making a slight sound of discomfort, reaching forward to wrap his hands around it, letting the heat from his own hands soothe the ache]

Do you want to tell me how you're feeling? [he tilts his head a bit, watching him]

[enigmaster]

Still trying to figure that one out. Um...

[Wow, he is not ready for this conversation. He kind of thought this wasn't a conversation he'd ever have with anyone, is the thing, and he feels a little overwhelmed. Even though this is literally all his own fault.

He takes another sip from his glass. And then he just kind of stares straight ahead.]

Oh my god, I really said that.

[agoodname]

Yes. You really did. [he sounds gently amused again, not mocking] No rush, however, by the way. You've got plenty of time to figure out how you're feeling. Though I was kind of being serious about those deep breaths.

[enigmaster]

My breathing is fine, Oswald! [IT'S FINE. HE'S FINE. THIS IS ALL EXTREMELY FINE?] I... I've never, ah... I mean... I wasn't exactly... thinking, when I said that and... [Nope, okay, he still doesn't know how to words, apparently.]

[agoodname]

[.....yeah no he's definitely still freaking out. He hums a little bit, fingers prodding at the bone and muscle around his ankle] Why don't you think of it like a puzzle? Divide it up into pieces and figure out where they fit or something like that.

[enigmaster]

For once I'm not really sure if that applies.

[Edward has never been... great, with emotions.]

Ah...

I don't have a lot of experience with... these things.

[agoodname]

It could be a place to start. [he sits back a bit against the cushions, thoughtful]

Well...if I had to take a shot in the dark, you look a little...scared, Edward.

[enigmaster]

[Edward's head snaps back up at Oswald.]

What? No. That's ridiculous.

[Someone feels called out.]

[agoodname]

[.___________.]

[enigmaster]

What could I possibly be scared of? [It's clearly ridiculous!]

[agoodname]

Love?

[enigmaster]

Ah-- [Edward tries to resist the urge to get a pillow and scream into it. He succeeds, for now.] I... ah... I mean... what's frightening about that, honestly? [Ding ding ding, Oswald's got it.]

[agoodname]

...depends on the person, I think. [he tilts his head a bit] If it's not something you'd consider yourself used to...

[enigmaster]

I mean, I suppose I'm... not. Not really, no. [Okay, honesty, maybe? Because he feels like he's going in circles and freaking himself out more and more. So. Honesty. Cards. On the table.] ...I'm not sure I've ever felt love before.

[agoodname]

[Well this is some deja vu. Which makes sense, considering Edward doesn't remember that entire evening. Hngh. He should...probably address that. Which he very much does not want to do because he gets the feeling Edward is not going to like this but... If there was any time to not chicken out, it would be now. So from the outside, it's looking like he's quiet for maybe a bit too long after that revelation, when really what he's doing is convincing himself to actually take the risk and talk about this because he's still riding high on Edward telling him he loves him and this might ruin everything because okay admittedly he should've probably had this discussion earlier but there was never the time--] --I know. [it comes out of him in a rush of nerves, a little jittery] You've, uh...Actually we've had a conversation like this. Before. Sort of.

[enigmaster]

[Edward blinks at that, briefly distracted from his own panic, because that's... not right? No, definitely not.]

What are you talking about?

I don't remember anything of the sort.

[And he should. He should remember that a lot better than Oswald.]

[agoodname]

It was the night you broke out of Arkham, but the guard managed to inject you with a high dose of benzodiazepines before you escaped.

[enigmaster]

That's hardly as specific as you think it is--

[But. No, Oswald would only know of the one time, so...

It makes sense. Amnesia, common side effect of the drugs. He often has gaps in his memory after being dosed.]

...What... What exactly did I... tell you?

[agoodname]

[yes, he would only know of the one time, which is why he starts to frown and address that---but yes alright back on topic] Well...I wanted to help with your recovery during withdrawal, but you were insistent that I shouldn't, and I couldn't understand why. And you said something along the lines of--[he frowns, trying to remember exactly how the conversation went, but he does't have Edward's perfect recall]--that you couldn't figure out my angle. And I explained that I didn't have an angle; that I was doing this because you're my friend, and I-I love you. [and there it is again, and he almost stumbles over it--but he's on a roll now so here we go] And you told me that was something you'd never experienced, and that my loving you was a mistake, because you were broken. [his brow furrows a bit, only because saying that is enough to make something ache in his chest all over again] To which I pointed out that I don't really think that there's anyone in Gotham that isn't broken, at least a little bit, in different ways. Because I certainly am. But even so, knowing all of that and all of those things...I still love you. [this time, no stumble--more steady.] And you said the idea of that scared you. Love. Because you don't have any experience with it, from either side. Which is--I said that was fine, and if you needed clarification, ever, that I was happy to help you figure it out. [....] And then you fell asleep.

[enigmaster]

[He takes that in. The whole thing. And it's... well, it's a little embarrassing, honestly. Because even if they aren't things he's consciously aware of, when he hears Oswald describe what he'd said, he knows it's true. And they sure aren't things he would've talked about, otherwise.

Of course he doesn't remember a single second of it. Not one bit.

Oswald had told Edward that he loved him and he just forgot about it. That seems so... ridiculous. Of all things. There are so many things he effortlessly remembers, but just because of the timing of it all, he can't remember something like this?]

...Oh.

[And he's quiet, because he genuinely doesn't know what to say to that.

He needs a second to digest that and to think.]